Miss Ataxia: He wants to marry me

Still not fired, got new plates for the van, and was pretty much proposed to.

Thats right he says he wants to be more than serious. He wants to marry me and that he's loved me for awhile now and didn't know how I would feel about it. So he asked me how I would feel if we took it a step further and got married. Just the idea of it makes me smile. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It's just my mother and the technicalities of everything that worry me at the moment. I know that he's having a little financial trouble, thats why he's thinking about going down to NC and staying with Rory, who's practically family. He wants to know if I would go with him. He said that I wouldn't have to worry about insurance or anything that he would take care of it and that I didn't need a car because I could simply take him to work and pick him back up again. What really surprises me about the whole thing is that he kissed me. And he really hasn't been able to stop.

He's had a problem with kissing from an ex and so he was against it. But yesterday I took him and I to go and see Tropic Thunder and out of no where in his truck he leans over and kisses me. Of course I'm going to kiss back. Can't help it, I really like kissing him too.

He wants to talk to my parents about the whole thing. To ask for their blessing. I know that he needs to talk to my da alone first that way da can talk to my mum about it than we can all get together and discuss it.

I'm scared that she'll be against it. She was against me going down there last time he thought he was going to. And I mean dead set against it. Her view on it was if I don't have a degree in something than I can't move out of the house. Unfortunately at the moment I need out of the house. Not want, but need. I can't stay here with all the crap thats going on. I can't. It's stressing me out to the point that I just want to pack not tell them where I am going and just leave. But I can't. I can't just leave weed and the others. They're blood, there for we're connected.


Oh and I've lost weight. I don't know how. I haven't really worked out. I guess it's because I simply can't eat much food anymore. Like today I've eaten a whole two times.

Miss Ataxia: Worried about the boy

Well I didn't get fired still.

Turns out the boy really likes me, but I'm worried. His Aunt's boyfriend wants him out by the 1st of November. He really doesn't have anyplace to go other than NC and I don't think he really wants to go down there anymore. I'd have him move in here with me but there simply is no way that he and I can coexist like we do with the rest of my family here. Simply not going to happen.

I don't know what to do.

Miss Ataxia: Had to call the cops yesterday

The night before last on my way home from the boy's house I received a text message from Sarah. "Erica and Dana were arrested. And Jameka and Desiree were fired." ok? I was fine with that I'm not particularly close with them. Until the morning. Erica called me and told me that I needed to watch my back because everyone that has ever worked with her was in question. And that they were thinking about firing me. I freaked I didn't know what was going on. So simply to say I was stressed all day wondering if they were going to call me back into the office and question me or even fire me. But they didn't.

However the icing on the fucking cake would be that my license plates were stolen off my mini van last night while I was at work. AT WORK!!! FUCKING BOLTS AND ALL!!!! So I was up almost till one in the morning doing a police report. And now I can't even go to the DMV and get new plates because it's labor day weekend. Crap. I don't have a car. I hate this. Not fair at all.

And now I have to work more hours because they got rid of 4 people in one day and hired all new people who don't know how to do anything.

Miss Ataxia: Rant Time

I know that it seems alittle annoying that I talk about the people in my life like they're something more than what they seem to be.

I spent the past couple of hours with the boy and as he was getting ready to walk me out to my car like the great guy that he is, he said that he had a good time with me. Even though he was on the net talking to people and I was watching TV, he said that it meant more to be in a relationship than just wanting to have sex with someone. And that he really likes just being around me even though we never really do anything. Aw factor to the maximum.

I'm trying to save money to be able to go to FanimeCon this upcoming year. And it's all change, it sucks. I'm going to have to save enough for a plane ticket, hotel costs, food, reg, and lets not forget to mention some spending money cause I'm crazy about this stuff. Hopefully I can figure a way to be able to go this year seeing as how I missed it last year. It was going to be my fourth year running, now I'm behind.

I still have to reg for NekoCon.

I feel like breaking something. Even though I'm in a decent mood, I still want to cause some type of mayhem. I've been in a weird mood lately, I'm just ugh.

Sarah is joining in October. I'm going to miss her dearly. She's going to be leaving civilian life.

The cousin is bothering the hell out of me. I want him gone. No, not want NEED him gone. It's like this giant stressor in my life. He doesn't do jack shit around the house and I'm stuck not only doing his laundry but picking up after him cause he's lazy as hell and driving his lazy ass to work where he slams the van door and doesn't even thank me for the ride that I really don't have to give him. Not to mention that he's a complete ass hole, he has a picture of him smoking pot on his myspace, he glares at my sis when she's simply in the mood, he's a homophobe (if only he knew that I wasn't straight), he makes fun of people who don't deserve it, he spends all his money on cigs and junk instead of giving some of it to my mum to pay for HIS health insurance and all his costs, he's spoiled, and he still can't make up his mind on whether or not he wants to stay. He wants to stay for a girl, thats the reason that he got in the mess in the first place. And last but not least, he has the worst laugh in the history of humanity. It's annoying and fake and I don't like it one bit.

Obviously I don't like him.

Rant done.

Miss Ataxia: Don't want to work today

Well I went over there. Ended up not teaching him how to sew, but thats his fault. He was feeling lazy and didn't remind me. But all and all it was pretty good. Lounged around in bed for a bit than he spent time in the hole smoking some cigs. So I went out there and talked to him. Turns out he wants to know what I look like as a blonde. Oh, and that so far he likes me better with longer hair. I still haven't dyed it and I'm beginning to think that I'm not sure if I want to keep the color color in my hair.

Look, I know it's like a signiture, people at work know me by the hair. But I'm not sure thats what I want to be known for. It's not exactly amusing, when people at work come up to you and ask if I'm feeling alright simply because the color is gone.

And I'm looking for a new job. Need something else. Something where I can survive and I don't have to worry about my hours.

Miss Ataxia: Proud of the boys

School has started. Today is officially the first day of the college semester. Little brother is going to his first class. I'm proud of him. We never really thought that he would be this far. Not when you knew him when he was a kid. He can read, eat fruits AND vegetables. Not to mention he graduated at with honors from high school. Without being in any special ed classes. You would never know he was autistic. Well, re diagnosed as ausperger's. SOOOO proud of him.

Any way, I'm going to the boys house today. Apparently he wants me to teach him how to handsew. I'm ok but I'm not amazing at it. And he's going to teach me how to make amulets and "other fun stuff". I'm proud of him too. Getting so far in life from such a crappy background. Met his mum the other day. She's alittle off and I can tell that she wants to get back into his life. But I can also tell that he almost wants nothing to do with her. I don't blame him.

oh well. I've got to go and pack this bad girl up so I can get over to his house. Don't know what else we're going to do over there, but I'm sure we'll find something.


oh for some awesome jewelry check out www.azuregreen.com
it's really wicked, going to order some stuff next week after I get paid.

Miss Ataxia: Crapalicious

It feels like everything is completely out of wack in my house. There is no way I can stay here for as long as my mother seems to think. Until I get my degree. Too bad I can't afford to go to school. I need out and the only person that I can think of that feels the same way I do is the boy and he's trying to go down to NC, whether or not I follow him down there is up to me.... and if I can afford to live on my own.


I'm just feeling moody, and tired. Not to mention I look like utter crap.