I don't know what to say today. The person that I care very much for is going through such a hard time this month, my brother's girlfriend's grandmother died, as did my uncle's father. Add on to this that I'm not making nearly enough money to where I can live on my own. Sarah is joining the Army, Anna is trying to join the Air Force, and Joey is still with us.
I just spent the past day or so with the boy. He doesn't know that my mum is going to give him money so he can get his stuff out of storage. He doesn't know that my mum is going to let him keep his stuff here. All of it. He's in for a shock no? He doesn't know that I'm head over heels for him. Well, maybe he does due to our conversation yesterday. He told me that he had a dream the we were married. This is the guy who couldn't call me his girlfriend because he was still dealing with HER. And he springs this on me. He said that his dreams could have hidden meanings but he wanted to know how I felt about it regardless. I didn't know what to say. I have no reservations or doubts about how I feel about him. And he's one of the few people that really know me. Inside and out. He doesn't think that he's ready for that big of a commitment and I said that was fine. And I was quiet. He wanted to know why I wasn't saying anything. Fortunately he was sitting on my lap and couldn't see the shock and concern on my face. All I wanted to do was ask him why me. Why me of all the people in the world? I'm not smart, I'm not pretty, I'm not cool, I don't like being in social situations, I'm a homebody, a nerd, a spaz, extremely family-oriented, and I can hardly live on my own let alone with my family.
No I really don't think that I'm the shit.
I don't understand people sometimes.
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